Surgery is something I thought was reserved for accidents, or life threatening issues. It's not planned. It's not something that you would think a little 16 month old boy would have to endure. Thankfully I have a solid support network of people who helped me through it. On March 11, 2014 my son Nathan was scheduled for surgery to have a hydrocele that he was born with removed. Ive never even heard of a hydrocele, a build up of fluid, until a couple weeks ago when it made itself known. I had to look it up when I got home because as soon Dr. Reynolds said surgery I couldn't hear anything else. I didn't want to hear anything else. I just wanted to hold my baby and run. I was terrified. I felt like I failed to protect him as a mother, but he was strong through it all. From blood draws to being taken from our arms for surgery he was brave. His blood was drawn a couple days prior to his surgery.. My husband and I prepared the best we could with his favorite show and tons of treats, but he didn't need it. He didn't need any of it. The comfort of his daddy was enough for him. On the day of his surgery we were up earlier than any normal person should be. It snowed that morning. Checking in my son for surgery and filling out all the paperwork that comes along with it was so surreal for me. It didn't matter that the staff was amazing or that I had my husband by my side. Here I was a grown woman who felt like a little girl wanting my mom for comfort. But it was my turn to be that mother and be there for my son. I had to keep it together for him. He deserved to have the mom I had when my tonsils were taken out, when I had my wisdom teeth removed, when I was scared I was miscarrying. It was interesting to watch him as we waited in our tiny room. He was curious which meant he was comfortable. Comfortable enough to push the code blue button. I would like to apologize to the old woman waiting for her husband to get out of surgery and the hospital staff for that. I wanted to capture an experience in Nathan's life. I want to remember this tiny person was so much more brave than I was . I want him to look back and see how strong he was and continues to be.
